Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
