Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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