The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
