So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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