why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
