Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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