She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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