So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
