U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
