Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
