I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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