The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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