So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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