Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
When are your genitals available?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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