dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
