He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
