dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
