Got a toothbrush?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
