Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
