P.S. I can't hear my feet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
