butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
