I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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