This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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