fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
