If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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