Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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