"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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