I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
