i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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