oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I had to cum in my sink.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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