Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
