Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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