do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
