Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
