i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
