You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
