Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
