your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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