You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
