dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
