he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
