So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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