my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
