Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The struggles of a small town man whore
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
