wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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