I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
