What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
