Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
