I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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