Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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